I am constantly in awe of how God works through the miracle of adoption, so I’m excited to share my dear friend Kathie’s inspiring story of the wonders God worked in her family’s adoption journey!
The Three Miracles of Our Adoption
by Kathie Harris
When some speak of the miracle of adoption, it conjures a picture of a child placed in the arms of waiting parents or smiling faces in a courtroom. But in my version of adoption, the moment I held my daughter for the first time was the least of the miracles.
During my adoption journey, God taught me to trust in Him, be patient, and have peace in His perfect plans. It was hard, but I drew closer to Him in the struggle.
While I was learning to wait, a young woman’s family abandoned her, dumped at the altar, discovered she was pregnant and struggling to find solid ground. She would choose adoption for her child, pick our family to raise her, and hope she’d made the right decision.
She carried in her womb a little girl who would lose the only mother she’d ever known on the third day of her new life. She would be named for a book character whose name happened to be my middle name. She would meet me on the 10th day of her life. Confused and grieving, she would be held and eventually we would all fall madly in love with each other.
It’s easy to see all the miracles God performed to bring us all together. What I see now as our adoption story unfolds is the miracle of how much He changed me.
Miracle Number One
As a woman suffering from infertility, my main goal in adopting was to get a baby. It may sound ugly, but it’s the truth. If it hadn’t been for the direction of the Holy Spirit and the Christian adoption agency, I could have been just another woman with economic power taking advantage of a young woman in need. Instead, we pursued open adoption which requires commitment and vulnerability on my part. I knew it was best for them, and my heart truly wanted that for them as much as it did that baby. When I think of my natural selfish tendencies, I would have been a nightmare without God’s leading. He softened my heart and miracle number one occurred.
My commitment helped us survive a failed adoption attempt with my heart in the right place, and God rewarded my obedience with an adoption story that answered all my prayers and fulfilled every one of my desires.
Miracle Number Two
As a biological mother, I understood what my daughter’s birth mother had given up when she chose adoption, and God broke my heart for her. I regularly cried for the first year of my daughter’s life when I thought of all she was missing. When I watched her sleep, I thought of her birth mother. Every cherished smile reminded me she didn’t get to see it. My love for my daughter grew every day, and every day, it pained me to know her birth mother had sacrificed this opportunity.
My feelings turned in to action, and I made sure to share generously in that first year. In my daughter’s second year, we flew out to see her birth mother. She hadn’t laid eyes on her daughter since the hospital. It was a Holy Spirit-confirming moment as we spent two days laughing, chatting, and loving on our daughter. We were a triad, created by Him, and experiencing the joy and healing that results.
Miracle Number Three
We are currently nine years into this adoption experience and it has become more challenging as I encourage my daughter’s questions and emotions, navigate conflicts between her birth mother and me, and keep my eyes on Him to guide me through it all. There were many times where I could have ignored the Spirit’s guidance, and trust me; I wanted to. It’s not easy to be vulnerable and committed in a relationship that has the potential to bring great pain and harm. But each time I obeyed, love won the day and brought each of us closer to Him. After enough of these miraculous experiences, I knew following Him in this was the only way to go.
He opened my heart to listening to birth mothers and adult adoptees everywhere. Earlier, when I read stories of how adoptees resented their adoptive parents or suffered trauma at the way they handled the tough things, I would turn away. It hurt too much to think we would fail. I wanted to believe it wouldn’t happen to us.
But the more I followed the Lord, the more he strengthened me to listen. And what I heard was fear and doubt caused these failures. And fear always leads to sin. Truly believing in who He is, walking to the edge, and trusting Him to catch me is what my daughter and her birthmother need from me. And they deserve my efforts because He loves them even more than I do.
So now I find myself digging deeper into the dark places of the adoption industry, even though it would be easier to look away. I can’t handle them, but He can. And He leads me into these areas because this is the messiness of life where He can do the best work. These children and their parents need His followers doing His work to restore justice and hope.
I’m looking forward to seeing what His next miracle is.