When Marriage Gets Messy Wrap Up & Resources

When Marriage Gets Messy – Wrap Up & Resources

WOW! God has really been stretching and growing me as I’ve been writing about when marriage gets messy over the last 12 weeks. And now here we are at our Wrap Up & Resources post.

What a journey this has been. I have been praying for your marriage and have been so blessed by new growth in my own. I resisted writing about this topic for nearly 8 months. Our marriage isn’t perfect, so I didn’t feel qualified to offer any advice. But God has shown me over and over again I don’t need to be qualified, because He is.

Since we began with a top ten list of the things that make marriage messy, it only seems fitting to end with the top ten tips for transforming messy marriages into masterpieces. These are the strategies and suggestions that kept coming up over and over again as solutions to our messiest situations. In the Army, these would be called High Value Targets. Things you can do that will have the maximum impact in your marriage no matter what mess you’re facing.

Top 10 Tips to Overcome Messes in Marriage

When Marriage Gets Messy Top 10 Tips to overcome the messes in marraige

     10. Present a unified front in public

     9. Be accountable to each other

     8. Assess and analyze for improvement (not blame)

     7. Create a strong inner circle

     6. Serve each other selflessly

     5. Submit to the Spirit and your spouse

     4. Communicate and resolve conflict effectively

     3. Commit to each other despite conflict

     2. Forgive as you have been forgiven

And the #1 thing you can do to transform your messy marriage into a masterpiece is: Fight on your knees – PRAY!

If you do nothing else for your marriage, focus on these 10 things. Start at #1 and work your way up.

See these top 10 tips for overcoming the most common messes in marriage. #whenmarriagegetsmessy Click To Tweet

As good as this advice and all the other suggestions we’ve discussed over the last 12 weeks are, it doesn’t do me any good to just write them. I had to implement these strategies into my own marriage. You can’t just read these tips and expect them to take root. You’ve got to take action to overcome the messes in your marriage.

Prayer for You

To help you with that, I’ve written this prayer just for you. Click on the image to download the pdf. Feel free to print and share it with your husband.

Dear Heavenly Father,

I thank you for the gift of marriage and for the husband you have given me. Help me to be the kind of wife who does him good all my days, and never harms him. A patient wife who helps, forgives, and loves at all times. Give him the wisdom and discernment to be the head of our household as Christ is the head of the church. Protect our marriage from all evil influences and attacks of the enemy. Surround us with strong mentors and friends to help, guide, and pray for our marriage. Give us unity of values, expectations, and priorities. Where unity is impossible, help us to see past our differences and remain committed to each other and the covenant we made on our wedding day. Be the third strand in the cord that binds us and do not allow any thing or person on earth to separate what you have joined between us. May all that we say and think and do bring glory to Your name. We ask all these things according to Your will and in Jesus’ name. Amen. 


Catch Up on When Marriage Gets Messy

If you missed any of the other posts in this series, feel free to get caught up now. Or, as an even better option, I’m offering a second round of private study in a Facebook group beginning on January 8th. Request to join that group here. Then invite your friends.

     10. Finances

     9. Unmet Expectations

     8. Adultery

     7. Outside Influences

     6. Complacency

     5.  Selfishness

     4.  Misaligned Priorities

     3. Unequally Yoked

     And, the #1 reason marriage gets messy is because God Is Uninvited.

I pray this series has strengthened your marriage and given you some tips to protect it against attacks from the enemy. Marriage is hard and messy and we aren’t doing ourselves or anyone else any favors pretending like it isn’t. Instead of turning a blind eye to the messes in marriage or walking away when the going gets tough, let’s be a generation of women who fight for our marriages… on our knees!


Liz’s printed workbook, When Marriage Gets Messy is now available at Amazon and Barnes and Noble on-line. It’s an 11-week workbook for wives who want to overcome 10 common messes married couples make. The comprehensive workbooks contain daily prayer, reflection questions to help you dig deep into heart issues, word studies, Bible Study material, date night ideas, memory work (not what you’re thinking), additional resources, and of course S-E-X! It makes a great individual or group study, or even a wedding gift!


Thank you so much to the women brave enough to request this series in last year’s survey and to each of you for being a part of this. I appreciate your presence here at My Messy Desk!


When Marriage Gets Messy Wrap Up & Resources


Linking Up With

For more encouragement please join the discussions on these fabulous blog link ups – Suzanne EllerFaith On FireSusan B. MeadFaith Filled FridayGrace and TruthFaith and Fellowship FridaySoul SurvivalRah Rah Link UpTell His StorySitting Among FriendsTestimony TuesdayPlanting Roots, and Fresh Market Friday, Salt and Light.

24 thoughts on “When Marriage Gets Messy – Wrap Up & Resources

  1. You’ve put together such a wealth of great resources here for helping our marriages be the best they can be. Thank you Liz! Pinning this to my ‘Healthy Marriage’ board to refer back to again:)

  2. What a wonderful and important series this has been, Liz. I will have to go back and read the ones I missed. Marriage can be so hard. I adore my husband but we most definitely have our issues ;). Pinning this to refer back to! You’ve created a great resource for us all.

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