“I’m horrible at school,” he cried.
This was my seven year old’s complaint a couple of weeks into his second grade year.
His statement shocked me. A new system of tracking students’ behavior allowed me to view real-time feedback on my iPhone app. I had been following his progress at school periodically throughout the day. I knew he had received several “thumbs up” badges and no angry red icons.
Eager to find out what was really going on, I asked, “Why do you say that? What happened?”
“Because I only got 4 Dojo Points and ‘Susie’ got 17!”
Even though my son’s feedback was entirely positive, he felt inferior because his teacher hadn’t awarded him as many points as another student. How my heart broke for him…
Can you relate?
Have you ever found yourself discouraged by a situation when you did what you were supposed to but somebody else received more credit? When everybody else seemed more good than you? When comparing yourself to others led to feelings of defeat?
Like when a newer writer’s blog has more subscribers.
Or the importance of your calling is undervalued by society.
Maybe somebody asks if you work and you catch yourself replying, “No, I’m just a mom.”
Perhaps you’ve worked out for regularly for a month, but someone else gets attention for noticeably dropping sizes.
It stings, doesn’t it?
I can’t tell you why these seemingly unfair things happen, but I can reassure you that nothing goes unnoticed with God.
Hagar was Sarah’s Egyptian slave. After many years, Sarah doubted that she would ever become pregnant with the son God promised Abraham. She ordered Hagar to be with her husband so that Sarah might get credit for the heir born by her servant. Hagar was obedient to what her mistress ordered. Afterwards, she was treated unfairly by Sara. In distress, Hagar ran into the wilderness. God met her there. And because He did, she earned the honor of giving God a new name. (Genesis 16)
She called Him El Roi - The God Who Sees.
He sees you. He notices your efforts. He understands how you have poured your heart and soul into the tasks He has assigned. He sees your accomplishments and obedience when others over look them. Better yet, He sees beyond your failures to the intent of your heart. When we have done our best by faith for His glory He is pleased.
It is one thing to feel defeated when we actually fail, but quite another to harbor those same emotions simply because somebody else received more praise. Honest evaluation of ourselves should lead to improvement, not discouragement. Comparison only stimulates the never-satisfied monster of self-doubt.
Instead of feeling like we don’t measure up, let’s stretch the scale into eternity.
God doesn’t qualify us based on any merit system. There are no dojo points for good behavior. Atta boys, kudos and pats on the back may not come in this lifetime, but we can rest in the assurance that anything done for the Lord is not done in vain.
God’s best is not evaluated by any earthly standard. He always sees right to the heart of the matter. To put an end to defeat and discouragement we must stop comparing ourselves to any standard other than His.
Defeat discouragement by controlling comparison.
What if we could focus on doing just what we have been called to do to the best of our abilities and stop comparing our efforts to other’s accomplishments? How could that change our lives?
Dear Father, forgive me for the times I get discouraged when I look around and compare myself to others. Help me to always seek You for my assignments and my acknowledgment - not man. Encourage and strengthen me by Your word and Spirit to do Your will. When I fall short, lift me up and set my feet on the right path again. In Jesus Name, Amen.
“Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm.
Let nothing move you.
Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord,
because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.”
1 Corinthians 15:58
Be sure to check out Kristine Brown’s guest post follow up to this: When We Feel Unnoticed.
For more encouragement please join the discussion on these fabulous blog link ups - Suzanne Eller, Thought Provoking Thursday, Susan B. Mead, Faith Filled Friday, Grace and Truth Friday, Still Saturday, Good Morning Monday, Monday Musings, Rah Rah Link Up, Tell His Story, Woman to Woman Wednesday, Women With Intention Wednesday.
Amen! This is such a hard concept for our kids as well. I remember being guilty of wanting my son to measure up to the ‘other’ kids in the class. If he didn’t get chosen for this or that, I wanted to know why! It took me many years (and still working) to grasp that God’s approval is all we need - and we don’t have to work for it:) Awesome post, friend!
Thank you, Kristine! I can’t wait for your follow up next week!
Thanks Liz! I needed this today. I had a total melt down after ballet class as I spent most of class comparing myself to those who looked more graceful, jumped and kicked higher and didn’t seem as confused as me. I knew it was wrong and I stayed positive until I got to the car, then fulk tantrum, lol! And yesterday I had a ridiculous fear that I wouldn’t receive any acknowledgment for the welcome basket I put together for a new arrival in my husband’s section. The whole J4 gets the credit. I recognized it as my ego. I know God sees all and I am thankful. I don’t have to shout my good deeds to the world. I know and God knows. That is what matters.
I could come to ballet and make you feel waaaaayyy better about yourself! 😉 Yes! Such good perspective. It is HARD to feel unnoticed. But we can find comfort in knowing The One who misses nothing. Love you, B!
Liz,
Welcome to “Thought-Provoking Thursday! I am so thankful that “He sees me.” It comforts me on the darkest of days.
Blessings,
Lyli
Thank you for stopping by, Lyli! So happy to be joining your link up!
Your writing is beautiful, and has so much feeling with the reality of our sinful human ways! Thank God that he knows our hearts, and we don’t need any Dojo Points to come to Him! Thanks for sharing, and can’t wait to read the next ones! 🙂
LeaAnn
Thank you, LeeAnn! Your comments are so encouraging!
I love being reminded of El Roi — The God Who Sees. I have never thought of it, however, in terms of the dreaded comparison trap. Thank you for this timely word.
I think what we want most when we begin comparing ourselves is to know that we are seen, our efforts have been noticed.
Great post today that hits home. I feel like I am constantly battling discouragement, trying to stay focused on truth and out of the emotional pit. I appreciate your words today.
We all face the same battle, Ginger. You are not alone! Praying for your victory over comparison and discouragement.
Your post touched a nerve-I do compare myself to others. Your words are encouraging. The story of Hagar is special because it reveals God’s character. He is the God who sees.
We all do, Carol. I pray you’ll remember that about Him the next time you are discouraged.
What a great post! Thank you for expressing in words what discouragement means to those who are trying to do God’s assignment. We have to have courage to fight the punches of discouragement that try and knock us down.
Thank you Valerie. We must remind ourselves often that God validates us not man.
Comparison is the thief of joy for sure and can put us right in the path of being discouraged. It’s amazing that it can eve happen to our children the same way it affects us. My son has said things similar to yours.
It is heartbreaking to see it in him. Really drove home the point for me about how devastating it can be.
“Have you ever found yourself discouraged by a situation when you did what you were supposed to but somebody else received more credit? When everybody else seemed more good than you? When comparing yourself to others led to feelings of defeat?” Yes, yes, yes. As a beginning blogger and as a middle-aged woman and as a stay-at-home mom, yes. I fight the temptation of comparison constantly. Thank you for this reminder that the ONLY standard that matters is Christ-and His pleasure alone should I seek. Stopping by from the #RaRaLinkup!
Ahhh…it is too easy as a blogger to get stuck in the comparison rut and become discouraged. But working for the pleasure of the King…that never disappoints!
Tears, “He sees you. He notices your efforts. He understands how you have poured your heart and soul into the tasks He has assigned. He sees your accomplishments and obedience when others over look them.” Thank you. I needed this, right now. Stopping by from #TellHisStory, so glad I did, Liz. 🙂
Thanks, Katie! Thrilled God gave me words to minister to you. 🙂
Loved this > “Defeat discouragement by controlling comparison.” Glad to have been neighbors at Women with Intention. I think this is my first time here so … “Nice to meet you, Liz!”
Nice to meet you, Joanne!
Awesome post, Liz! I’m so grateful that God doesn’t qualify us based on a merit system!!! Love the correlation! #livefreeThursday
Thanks, Crystal! #livefree
Liz, I love this: “Defeat discouragement by controlling comparison.” It’s so true that comparison gets us discouraged like almost nothing else. It’s really bad self talk. This is one area God is really chiseling into me. So happy to visit today from #livefreeThursday.
Chisel away, Lord! Do your perfecting work in me, too! Thanks for stopping by, Lisa!
Liz, today was the first day that I’ve had the pleasure of visiting with you, but I’m so glad that I did. This post was so rich and full of encouragement. It truly blessed my heart. Thank you so much for sharing! I’m now in love with your blog, so I had to subscribe. Peace and many blessings to you, Love! 🙂
Well, thank you so much! So thrilled when what God is teaching me touches others! 🙂